Cake Boss

For those of you who have been following along on social media this week, you already know that we spent 3 days in NJ and NYC on a memorial trip of sorts as the anniversary of Carter’s passing occurred on July 10th. We knew we wanted to travel in honor of him- we just didn’t know where until about a month ago when it occurred to us to visit Carlo’s Bakery in Hoboken, NJ. Carter was a huge fan of the TV show, Cake Boss, and we watched many hours of it together as a family, which is saying something because there aren’t too many family-friendly shows these days. He was always amazed at the over-the-top cakes Buddy Valastro created and his artistic genius. Getting to visit the bakery would be something truly special that we felt Carter would approve of whole-heartedly.

Joseph informed me as we were leaving Savannah last week that he had just received email confirmation from Nikki, Buddy’s assistant, who was going to arrange a personal meet-and-greet with the Cake Boss himself at his office about 1.5 miles from the bakery. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. We were going to meet Buddy! When I asked him how in the world this was possible, he stated that he had shared Carter’s story and included pics of him in the kitchen baking cakes. In the email, he requested to personally thank Buddy for giving our boy such joy and inspiration. He also wanted to let him know that the show is about so much more than just cakes. It would be an honor for us to shake his hand, look him in the eye, and say a heartfelt, “Thank you.” Lo, and behold, we were given the green light! Buddy was often away traveling but would be in town on July 11th. It was all set!

First stop when we arrived in town on Mon. was a visit to the bakery. What a dream come true! This was bigger than meeting a famous actor, singer, or athlete for me. Getting to lay eyes on such an iconic bakery was truly surreal- Carter would have had a fit! There was a long line when we first went inside, but the workers behind the counter were super efficient and we made it through quickly. I wanted a little of everything! Joseph got a choc. mousse, Caroline got a slice of vanilla cake with the most delicious buttercream frosting I’ve ever tasted, and I sampled 3 goodies- carrot cake, a choc. hazelnut cream puff, and a lobster tail (pastry filled with rich cream). Everything was truly spectacular.

Since our meeting with Buddy wasn’t until Wed. we planned to spend all day in NYC on Tues. We decided to go ahead and get an early start Mon. evening after the bakery visit. Man alive, the city is crazy! We had never taken a subway before, so it took us about 20 mins. just to figure out how to get our tickets and which train to take. Thankfully, a super nice gentleman patiently explained to us what to do, and just like that, we were on our way! We quickly observed a few things:

1. Everyone except for tourists wears earbuds.
2. You don’t really make eye contact with people.
3. Walking like you’re about to pee in your pants is normal- meaning the faster, the better.
4. Regardless of how trendy or expensive a lady’s dress is, the look isn’t complete without a comfy pair of Converse or other sneakers.
5. People really like to honk their horns- even when traffic is at a standstill or when the light has barely turned green. It must be their form of stress relief. I don’t get it!

It became readily apparent that we weren’t in Kansas anymore, but for all the culture shock, we were amazed at the beauty of the city at night. It was magical and straight out of the movies! Bright lights flashing, skyscrapers everywhere, hearing a different language at every crosswalk, taxi cabs flying, people rushing, food stands galore- it was a majestic kind of crazy, and we were in awe of it all.

After walking from 34th street all the way past 50th-something and getting a glimpse of Central Park at night, we decided that we’d had enough for that evening- it had been a long drive and we were pooped. Thank goodness for Lyft drivers! That was another new experience- pressing a button on a phone and having someone pull up to take you to whatever destination you desired- so cool and well worth the price! I was fearful of not being able to sleep knowing that Carter drew his last breath in the early hours of the following morning one year ago, but somehow I was able to fall asleep easily. The city had worn me out. Praise the Lord.

The next day began with a quick breakfast at the hotel followed by a long trek through the financial district of Manhattan trying to find our way to the Staten Island Ferry. Turns out that the GPS on our phones doesn’t do so great with walking and street navigation. We were getting hot and frustrated trying to figure out where to go, but we somehow made it and saw the Statue of Liberty. Another surreal moment- seeing her made my heart swell wth pride and thankfulness for the blessing of being an American. Afterwards, we headed to the World Trade Center Museum and spent a few hours inside just absorbing the tragic reality of such horror faced on Sept. 11th. We saw mangled beams of steel, missing persons flyers, and heard chilling personal recordings from eyewitnesses. At one point of the museum tour, we got to visit a memorial room where each victim’s name and picture was on display. As we made our way through the room, Joseph commented that he wasn’t leaving until he personally laid eyes on each face- there were over 3,000. Losing a loved one makes you view things differently in so many ways- now we get how important it is for people to acknowledge loss, and by making it a point to stop and take time to look at each face, he was essentially saying, “I see you. You have not been forgotten.”

After exiting the museum, we visited the memorial that features a rectangular pit with cascading water flowing down each side. Names of victims are engraved along the border, and we discovered that white roses are placed upon victims’ names for their birthdays. Several were born on July 10th. As we were mourning the loss of Carter on that date, I couldn’t help but think of other hurting families who were grieving right along with us- this now makes 17 years that they are unable to celebrate with their loved one and watch him/her blow out birthday candles and make wishes. I wondered how they were doing- had their grief made them better or bitter? My heart was just so sad and heavy.

At this point, we were emotionally and physically drained, so we went back to the hotel and slept for several hours. After we woke up, we headed back out to the city to get in some final sight-seeing. Texts had been flooding my phone all day with people letting me know that they were praying for us. I had asked people to post their favorite memories of Carter on FB, and periodically throughout the day, I checked and read them. I can’t tell you how much good it did my heart to read those memories. The consistent theme was how kind, thoughtful, and respectful our boy was, and I couldn’t be more proud. That’s what we should all desire our legacy to be- what a challenge!

We initially planned to eat at a place that was recommend to us in Times Square called Ellen’s Stardust Diner that featured  a singing waitstaff, but the line snuck its way down the side of the building, and the wait was long at 9:30. While standing in line we perused the menu and saw that a grilled cheese sandwich cost $16. Joseph and I looked at each other and shook our heads- we figured we’d be paying as much for the experience as for the glorified diner food, but it just wasn’t for us. We quickly exited the line and walked a few doors down to Junior’s, famous for their iconic cheesecake. Joseph ordered a steak cheeseburger which came with the biggest onion rings we’ve ever seen! For dessert, we split a piece of the strawberry cheesecake, and I could tell it was super even though I couldn’t really taste it due to a head cold that was kicking my butt.

Back to hotel we went after more walking.  And walking. And walking. Thunder thighs over here was driving the struggle bus- no Gold Bond was gonna help at this point. I just needed a long soak in a bath, some Benadryl to relieve the congestion in my sinuses, and some sleep. While taking a Lyft back to the Holiday Inn, I checked my phone and saw that it was past midnight- we had survived the dreaded one year anniversary. Thank God. It was over.

Today I woke up feeling better, but my eyes were swollen from my cold, and my face was super puffy- not how I wanted to appear before a major celebrity, but whatevs. Traffic was a nightmare and caused major anxiety because we were stuck with nowhere to go at 11:30, and our meeting was scheduled for noon. The thing with NJ drivers is that they just don’t care- they’ll switch lanes on a whim with no warning, cut you off, butt in when there’s no space, and flip you a bird while acting like YOU’RE the problem. It’s so funny, but this morning, it was nerve-wracking. We made it, though, with plenty of time to spare and were quickly escorted into a small seating area while we waited. Magazine articles adorned the walls, and a huge red mixer was in the corner. Man, the cake batter I could make using that pretty thing!

His assistant, Nikki, promptly came to get us at 12:00 and led us through the offices to a room where we were told that Buddy was in the midst of filming a segment for his You Tube channel, Cake House. He would be able to come and greet us in between sets. How incredible was it that we were getting to see him in his element?! I was totally fan-girling at that moment. When the doors opened we saw that the camera crew was setting up the cake shot and directing him as to how to do the intro. Today’s episode related to spinning cake art. He had a cake covered in white fondant perched on a wheel he had rigged with a motor to spin it as he dropped different food coloring onto the top. It took several attempts to get the intro. just right even for a professional like him. He is such a natural in front of the camera. He can inject enthusiasm on command without sounding phony, and he is very funny. I snapped a few pics but was told not to post them. I promised that I wouldn’t, but this one should be OK- it just shows the camera crew working behind the scenes.

This segment was a total experiment. The likelihood of a giant mess was high- directors had placed cardboard around 3 sides of the cake to keep the food coloring from splashing on everyone. Nobody knew exactly how it would turn out. When the time came for Buddy to drop the colors, it was pretty cool at first, but the more color he added, the crazier it started looking. The producer told him to stop- adding more color wasn’t going to help. You could see stubbornness set in- this IS the Cake Boss, after all. He asked for a stick to work with- he was determined to make this thing pretty, and the producer woman was like, “No, that’s not the point.” I wanted to laugh out loud, but had to reel it in. We were supposed to be “quiet on set” after all!

All that went out the window a few seconds later. Buddy spun the cake so fast that the thing literally EXPLODED and chunks flew right at Joseph- one landed smack dab in the middle of his face! We all started laughing- it was priceless.

When Buddy came over to talk with us, he first gave each of us a big hug and explained that his assistant had filled him in about Carter and that he was so sorry. I immediately started crying as I spoke with him, even though I had told myself I would hold it together. The last thing I wanted was to be a blubbering mess. First, I asked to share pics with him on my phone of Carter baking, and he said, “Of course.” I showed him how he made a lemon cake with homemade lemon curd and buttercream frosting one day last year for Sunday dinner and how he made banana bread all by myself after Goggling how to operate the oven settings. I explained how appreciative we were for the joy his show brought to our boy, and how thankful we are for the memories we have to hold onto of wonderful times spent in the kitchen. He asked how old Carter was, and we told him that he was 12. You could tell that he was touched by our story and incredibly sad for us. His assistant was in tears as well. I then pulled out the Halloween photos from 2013 where Carter had dressed up like the Cake Boss and used my Kitchen Aid mixing bowl for his candy. We ordered the chef costume from Carlo’s Bakery, and it was the real deal. He was 8 years old at the time. Buddy took his time looking at each picture, which meant a lot to me.

Joseph then explained that a rainbow appeared the day of Carter’s passing on a hot, July day with no rain in sight for miles and miles. A friend noticed it after leaving our house that afternoon and took a picture and sent it to me. It was straight in front of our house, clear as a bell. A neighbor soon after had that rainbow picture printed and many were given out to family, friends, and visitors to remind them of God’s faithfulness in keeping His promises. We gave a copy of that photo to Buddy.

I also explained that I had created a blog and gave him a business card that Joseph had printed with the link on it. I told him I would be writing about this experience and invited him to read it as it deals with grief and I know that he is experiencing that with the loss of his mother. Finally, before he went back to filming, I gave him a copy of the church youth choir CD that Carter was so proud to be a part of. I explained that the title track, In Christ Alone, was a special song that would hopefully bring him encouragement and hope like it has done for us. He thanked us, had his assistant take our picture with him, and told her after taking us around on a tour of the facilities to be sure we were hooked up with whatever we wanted at the bakery. Wow!

We were then shown around the building, and it was incredible to see how vast the operations are there. Today was cannoli day. We were told that nearly all of the baking that is done for the 22 stores nationwide is done in Hoboken- which means that 25,000 cannolis were going to be assembled. It’s hard to wrap your mind around that! We were shown the set of Cooks vs. Cons, a show on the Food Network that is Buddy’s brainchild, and we also saw where the majority of Cake Boss is filmed. We saw the interview room where Buddy talks about his cake creations, too. It was so weird seeing the background that, up until that point, I had only ever seen on a TV screen. We saw where everything is packaged in addition to the storage building- 100 lb. bags of flour, sugar, and corrugated boxes filled up each row from one end to the other. We walked through the room where workers were busy decorating cakes- true artistry on display. We also saw a room full of model wedding cakes- seeing the flower details up close and all the piping that Buddy is famous for was so awesome.

The tour concluded with us seeing the set of one of his upcoming shows on the Discovery Channel. We walked back through the building and saw Buddy enter his office- Joseph peeked in as we passed by and said he had a massive embroidered leather chair which was super nice. The thing about Buddy is that he is a pretty small fellow. He looks bigger than he actually is on TV in both stature and girth. Nikki told us what to do once we got to the bakery, and we headed out to the car. On the way, Joseph remarked how incredible it was that Buddy was given the gospel in song- something Carter probably would have never been able to do himself was accomplished today. It was amazing and yet another reminder of how incredibly impactful our boy’s life continues to be.

We arrived at the bakery and stood to the side while we waited for our contact person to come. Caroline immediately noticed blue butterfly cookies on the very bottom right shelf of the display case. I was stunned. Those cookies were not there on Monday’s visit. I know this because I looked for them after noticing on the online menu that butterfly cookies were an option (no mention of their color). I just figured they had sold out or were a seasonal item no longer available. I snapped a pic and thought to myself, “Well, then…this is Carter saying that he knows all about what happened today and he is happy.”

How incredible is it that these cookies are blue? I mean, when I think of butterflies, I think of yellow or orange. This was just another sign from heaven that all is well, and I am so thankful we saw them today as we were on our way out of town after an experience of a lifetime. Soon afterwards our contact came and instructed us to choose whatever we wanted from the display cases. I chose a slice of red velvet cake, a cannoli, and a butterfly cookie for the road, Caroline chose a mini cheesecake and sprinkle cookie, and Joseph chose his favorite cake- yellow with choc. frosting. We sat down at a little table and enjoyed our treats. At one point, I glanced up and saw Buddy’s brother-in-law, Mauro, step out from the work area to exit the bakery. I looked him square in the eyes, and was like, “Oh, my…HEY!!!” and he greeted me back. He’s a lot smaller in person, too.

As soon as I got in the car I started posting a few pictures on FB bc I knew people were anxious to hear about our experience. Here’s what makes me so happy- out of all the photos I posted from today, the one that got the most likes and comments wasn’t the one with us standing with Buddy- it was those blue butterflies. I am so thankful for how people recognize that God is at work and that Carter is alive and well just waiting for us- we see the wonder of it all, but so do others. My heart is truly full. Like I stated on my FB post, this was 100% in honor of Carter, and after seeing how events unfolded today, I know that without a doubt, he was there with us and  he’s happy. So very happy. I couldn’t have asked for a better trip and I praise the Lord for His continued mercies. They are new everyday!