June Jubilee

We had special services at our church this week which began on Wed. evening and continued through Fri. They were collectively referred to as our Jubilee, somewhat like a mini-revival. The name Jubilee refers to a period of time for the Jews that came about every 50 years- it was a time for refreshment, peace, and rest.

I was greatly looking forward to receiving help from the Lord this week. I knew that He had special messages lined up just for me, and boy, did He ever! I started taking sermon notes back in April because I was having trouble concentrating and would often leave church services with barely any recollection of what was preached- my mind has trouble with concentration now. Supposedly, there IS such a thing as grief brain.

Bro. Chad Benefield preached a message Thurs. morning from Ephesians 3:16-20 about the Lord’s Abiding Presence, Affectionate Provision, and Abundant Power. The last point resonated with me greatly. We can’t put our Lord in a box! He is able to do EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY MORE than we can even ask or think. My God is able- regardless of what I think, regardless of how hopeless something appears to be, HE IS ABLE.

That message was then followed by Bro. Brian McBride who preached from Gen. 49:1-3. His sermon was entitled “The Broadening of the Border” and I’m not at liberty to share how deeply personal that message was for me on that particular day, but it was truly awesome, and to top it off, I dreamed about Carter when I came home after lunch and took a nap. He was about 10 years old, and he was in the living room dressed in his little white undershirt and his khaki shorts. I was trying to get him to hurry and change clothes for church. It felt so good to see him and when I woke up, the memory of him being such a real presence in my mind for those moments gave me such peace and comfort.

We returned that evening to hear a message from Bro. Tim Fellure preached from 2 Kings 2:1-6 about the “Four Places You Must Visit Before Going Home”. My, what a message!

1. Gilgal- represented deliverance to the Israelites. It was a reminder that they were no longer slaves. As Christians, we, too, must be able to go back to the place where we accepted Jesus. Maybe not physically return, but we should know where and when it was that the Holy Spirit convicted our hearts and we trusted in Him.
2. Bethel- represented where Jacob came face-to-face with God and surrendered his will.
3. Jericho- this was the first place of conquest in the Promised Land. It was a place of diligence. Victory came when the Israelites just kept on marching, kept on walking around that wall, and eventually it came crashing down because they had done what they were instructed to do. This is what stuck with me the most. In my grief and despair, I just have to keep marching- keep walking. Victory will come if I just keep trusting in Jesus.
4. Jordan- where the waters parted after they took the daunting step of faith. That’s what everything boils down to in the end. We have to have faith. Not in ourselves, for we are nothing, but in our Lord Jesus who is EVERYTHING.

Afterwards, a missionary family from Mexico came to the front and was asked to sing God on the Mountain.Their voices sweetly and purely sang what my heart needed to be reminded of. Songs like these bring such comfort and peace and are well worth a few mins. to take the time and listen.

I was unable to attend the Fri. morning services due to a flare with RA, but I just knew that Fri. evening would be super special. It was the last night of preaching, Bro. Tim Fellure would be bringing another message, the youth choir would sing, and Bro. Joe Arthur would finish out the meeting.

Bro. Fellure finished his message from 2 Kings and it was phenomenal. One statement he made really stuck out to me and that was, “My children don’t need what I have, they need MORE.” Why? Because this world is getting darker and more difficult to live in fraught with more temptations, more challenges, more seducers, etc. None of us is immune to the darkness that can so easily beset us. Money, wealth, fame, etc. are not guarantees for health and happiness. Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain are evidences of that. Intellect, charm, popularity, and outward joy are not guarantees of peace and contentment. Carter is evidence of that. I owe it to Caroline to give it my all and not sit back and get comfortable while Satan and all powers of Hell throw fiery darts and try to bring us down. NO. Not acceptable.

After the message the youth choir got up and was supposed to only sing one song to give Bro. Joe Arthur ample time to preach. Before the first chord was struck, I knew they were going to sing Jesus Saves  – I went ahead and linked the entire service for that night on here simply because it was so very powerful. To hear the song, you’ll need to start around the 1:20 mark of the video.

This particular song was one of Carter’s very favorites, so we decided to have the youth choir sing it at his memorial service. The Holy Spirit descended on that day just like He did the other night- an amazing, indescribable wave of peace, comfort, joy, and HOPE came down as the words of that song penetrated hearts. After the first verse I couldn’t stay in my seat. I was crying, desperate to reach out to God and have Him hear my cries. I got up from my pew and went to the altar, fell to my knees, and just wept and begged God to help me. Hearing that song is so bittersweet bc it reminds me of my boy and how much I miss him. But it also gives me such hope…as the song says, “The Redeemed shall sing forever Jesus Saves”.

What a promise!

“Freedom’s calling, chains are falling, hope is dawning bright and true! / Day is breaking, night is quaking, God is making all things new.”

Yes, Lord. Thank You!!

“See the sky alive with praise, melting darkness in its blaze / There is light forevermore. JESUS SAVES.

Amen, Lord. AMEN.

Soon after I hit the altar I felt the presence of others around me and heard their weeping and prayers as well. My church family has not for one moment left me alone to walk this valley of grief, and I’m so very grateful. Joseph said on the way home that evening that he had never seen so many ladies get up at once to come and pray. I didn’t realize exactly how many came until today when I saw the video of the service. What encouraged me also was to see men come to Joseph while he was sitting in the pew, his heart breaking as much as mine was, and they hugged him and prayed. What love from our brethren! Their hearts hurt because they miss our boy, too…they ache for us and WITH us.

Afterwards, the choir sang In Christ Alone, another one of Carter’s favorites and another one that was sung at his memorial service. He even taught himself how to play the introduction of it on the piano by ear…the instrumentals on this song are powerful. The words even more so. My absolute favorite verse in all of Christian songs/hymns is found in this one song:

“No guilt of life, no fear in death / this is the power of Christ in me. From life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man / can EVER pluck me from His hand. ‘Til He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.”

My heart is just overflowing with thankfulness and praise for what the Lord did for me at Jubilee this year. I don’t know what people do in this life without the Lord or how they make it. Thankful that I know Him!