Even If

The lyrics to the song, Even If, by MercyMe are so timely and powerful. I first heard the song last summer, and it resonated with me like no other for months after Carter’s passing. It now takes on even more meaning in the wake of the Henry tragedy that many of you have followed along with me on FB for the past 2.5 weeks. For those who choose not to click on the above link and take a listen, allow me to at least draw your attention to a few parts:

My goodness…to be able to live out those lyrics in such a visible way like Christin Henry has done is awe-inspiring to me. She is a modern-day Job in my eyes and an example of a true Christian. I mean, if you simply add the letter “a” to her first name, you have that word- Christian– a follower of Christ, and she is most assuredly that to me.

For those who may not know what I am talking about, I first learned of the fire that destroyed the Henry home while returning from our vacation in Savannah earlier this month on July 6th. I saw a friend’s post on FB asking for prayers and I immediately recognized the mom’s name, because she and I were friends on FB. Since I didn’t personally know her, I could only assume that she must have been one of the 650 people or so to reach out and send a friend request in the months following Carter’s passing. The more I read, the sadder I became. A house fire had broken out late that night/early morning, and it had already claimed the life of her youngest daughter, Ivyleigh, who was only 2.5 years old. The father had done his best to save his family, but Christin was in a coma due to smoke inhalation and burns, and her other two children were clinging to life as well.

A few days later on July 9th, I was heartbroken to read that John Ross, only 4 years old, had passed away in the hospital. That left little Ireland- 7 years old, and the prognosis didn’t look good with burns over 70% of her body. Christin remained in a coma, and I told Joseph while we were in the car headed to NJ that if it were me, then I wouldn’t want to be woken up from the coma…how could a mother wake up and learn that two of her babies were gone? I told him that I’d want them to just pull the plug- I know that Heaven is my home and that Jesus and Carter are there waiting to greet me, and I’m ready to go. Singing praises forevermore and walking streets of gold with my loved ones where there’s no more sorrow and no more suffering sure beats staying here in this fallen world. Saying that to him made me question how to pray for the mom- did I pray for her to be healed and woken from the coma, or did I pray for her passing so that she could be reunited with Ivyleigh  and John Ross? If she passed, though, it would leave her husband all alone with a daughter who was still critical, and I  knew that I wouldn’t have made it this past year without Joseph being such a rock for me. I didn’t want her husband to experience the loss of his soulmate on top of losing 2 of his children, plus I knew that Irie would need her Mama, so I prayed for her healing.

When Christin awoke from the coma and was told the devastating news about the fire, immediately she threw her hands up and praised the Lord. She knew her babies were with Him and that they were perfectly whole. I was stunned and so very convicted by her response. I mean, it’s a beautiful reaction in the wake of such horror, and it is what we are supposed to do as Christians- be thankful in ALL things and to praise Him in every trial and storm. After all, we know that His ways are not our ways, and He knows what’s best. It’s what we tell others when tragedy strikes as we resort to our core foundation and beliefs. But when it comes to us, and tragedy like what she has experienced knocks at our own door? Who really ever DOES that? There’s Job in the Bible…he was told to just curse God and die, but he didn’t. He’s our gold standard for what to do in suffering and loss. To see a modern-day woman acting out faith like Job makes me feel so shallow, so unworthy to even be called a Christian when I see how she is grateful and joyful and not bitter. I realize that it’s still early, and there’s going to be really hard days, but she has professed time and again that she refuses to let the devil get an ounce of credit for any of this…she knows that God is faithful and that He is good and worthy of all glory, honor, and praise.

Wow. Just WOW.

The situation with Ireland became dire yesterday. She underwent surgery a few days ago to amputate both of her legs in order to save her life, but we learned that a fungus had spread to her upper body and that both hands and arms were in jeopardy. I cried when I read this. HOW could this BE? This poor baby…her family. Haven’t they suffered ENOUGH and lost ENOUGH? Again, I found myself wondering how to even begin to pray. She was only 7 years old. Did I pray for healing- that she would recover from all this trauma and go on to live a life without her limbs and most assuredly physical pain and hardship for the rest of her days? Or did I pray for complete healing on the other side where she’d have no more suffering and no more pain and be reunited with her siblings? As a mother, I couldn’t bring myself to pray for anything but healing on THIS side. Selfishly, perhaps, I would want my child here with me as long as I drew breath…legs or no legs, arms or no arms, burns or no burns…I would do anything and everything in my power to keep my baby here with me. Especially if she were the only child I had remaining. I thought of Caroline and how precious she is…what joy she brings to our broken hearts daily. I wanted Irie to be able to pull through and give her parents that same joy.

Christin’s update on FB Live yesterday again left me in awe. While watching her at some point I remember asking myself how she could be so calm and put together when her whole world has shattered. The Lord reminded me that the same grace He gave me last year in those initial days and weeks that kept me functioning and sane is the same grace He is giving this precious mother and family. It’s truly a grace and peace that passes all understanding. You can’t really “get it” until you need it. Thankfully, most who have followed her story as it unfolded on FB have never had to experience that grace, so they don’t understand how a mother can praise Jesus in the midst of such horror. It’s unfathomable. It IS possible, but it’s so very hard to understand because we rarely see it in action, so when we do, it seems crazy. However, what she is doing is showing the world what true faith and hope in her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ looks like. She repeatedly has said that she doesn’t want the light to shine on her- she wants to be a mirror and a reflection for Who lives IN her. She accepts the Lord’s plan for her life, and she is determined to praise Him for He is indeed worthy- in good times and in bad, in times when we understand and when we don’t.

Tonight while I was scanning her page looking for an update on Irie, she posted that Ireland had passed and was with Jesus. She went on to thank the Lord for 7 wonderful and beautiful years with her daughter. My heart just sank. I had prayed…thousands had prayed…why didn’t God answer our prayers? But then I thought of how Irie is perfectly whole and knows nothing but joy and peace. If we could only get a glimpse of heaven and how very real it is, then we wouldn’t want to stay here one second longer. That precious little girl is now singing with the angels. My heart hurts for the loss her family is enduring yet again, but I am joyful for the promise of Heaven and all that it entails for our loved ones.

I know that it’s easy to sit back and wonder where God is in all of this pain and suffering. I get that reaction, because I have pondered it myself. But that is not helpful. We also can’t question whether or not God is fair or wonder why He in all of His Sovereignty allowed this to happen. I mean, we DO think those things at some point- we’re imperfect creatures with finite minds who want nothing more than to see and know all things. But it’s not for us to know right now…we must do our best to trust and obey and praise Him in the midst of it all. I was reminded in a sermon tonight that “God’s strength is made perfect in weakness,” and I heard the song “Trials are Worth More than Gold.” Very true but very sobering. Nobody wants to be weak and to face trials, but when we go through the valley wouldn’t it be better to point people to Jesus and grow better rather than succumb to defeat and get bitter? Beauty can and will come from ashes, joy can and will come in the morning, and our God can and will supply our every need. We don’t have to understand- we only have to believe.

I am blessed to have witnessed this woman’s incredible faith, and I ask for you to please remember her and her family in the coming days as preparations are made to put all 3 of her babies to rest. I’d also like for you to remember Tia Coleman, a lady who lost 9 of her family members in the duck boat tragedy earlier this week in Missouri. That’s right…NINE of her family members (her husband, her three children, her uncle and nephew, and her mother-in-law, father-in-law, and sister-in-law). So much hurt and heartache- so many who are grieving incredible losses. I am reminded once again that even when we think we have it bad and that no one can possibly understand our pain, there is always someone who has it worse than we do and that there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

If you’re like me and itching to do something, anything to help out the Henry family during such a heartbreaking time, you may want to consider helping them financially by mailing a check (marked “Henry Family Relief”) to:

Greater Vision Baptist Church

4733 Sutherland Rd.

Owensboro, KY 42303

Finally, I’d like to reiterate something that my Pastor preached at Carter’s funeral last year, and that is that the devil may take our finances, he may take our friends, he may even take our family, but one thing he CANNOT do is to take our faith.

I had a friend reach out to me a few days after Carter passed away, and I texted her a response that my Pastor chose to read at his funeral. I’d like to share it on here, because it echoes some of the same sentiments I am sure the Henrys feel as well in the wake of their losses:

“We are trusting in our Lord to carry us and those aren’t just words that roll off our tongue. With every fiber in our being, we are clinging to God’s promises. Our faith is being put to the ultimate test, and we are relying on the prayers of God’s people and those who we’ve never even met but who have reached out with concern to help us make it through each day.

It comforts us to know that God Himself knows the heartache we are feeling. He gave His only Son to be crucified so that we can have that sweet hope and assurance of eternal life through salvation by believing and trusting in Him.

While we know that God would never plan the circumstances of our son’s passing, we know that He can and will make good out of evil-turn death into life-shine light out of darkness. His Word promises us those things and we are counting on Him to do them so that He can receive all the praise, honor, and glory.

We are thanking God for giving us our precious boy for 12 wonderful years. God could have chosen anybody to be his parents, but He chose us! What a gift! What an honor! Our heart’s desire is for people to draw close to God and that His name be magnified-we want lives forever changed so that people can experience for themselves that supernatural, all-encompassing peace that our Heavenly Father has allowed us to feel this week.”

Our pastor went on to add, “One tragic event does not define the life of a Christian. It’s defined by our relationship to the King of Kings.”

Amen.